Since I make my living delivering babies, I certainly am not against such attitudes. However, I do question why so many people believe having only one child is bad for the child and that an only child would be lonely and maladjusted person.
Studies have shown quite the opposite. Recent findings reveal that an only child is more socially sensitive, does better in school and is no more likely to be shy, self-centered or spoiled than a child with siblings. In addition, only children are generally quite stable, secure, sharing and happy individuals.
Not having to share love and attention from parents brings a certain amount of stability and security, and since only children's toys and playthings are not constantly taken away by siblings, only children find it easier to share with others.
Other studies have confirmed that having an increased exposure to the adult world, only children have more expansive vocabularies and tend to mature earlier because of this exposure.
Since they are often alone, only children are usually searching for playmates and use toys and play things to attract others to play with them, actually creating a personality that loves to share.
Of course, there are certain drawbacks to being an only child. Not having siblings tends to create a characteristic naГЇvetГ© on what is required to maintain close family relationships. Being an only child also places the responsibility of caring for aging parents squarely on our shoulders. We do not have a brother or sister who can go to the house and check on our parents. We alone are our parents' support system.
While we don't have to share in the process of dividing assets at our parents' death, we do miss the nurturing support of siblings as we lose those special parental relationships. We cry alone as those who brought us into the world depart this Earth.
While not having to share in the process of dividing wills and property at our parents demise, we do miss the nurturing support of siblings as we lose those special parental relationships, and we cry alone as those who created us depart this earth.
Nonetheless, as couples decide on the number of children to bring into the world, it seems important to ask whether they have considered if one child may be enough. I have had chronically ill patients who, having finally struggled through the hazards of having one child, without question will plan the second child merely because their concept of family includes more than one child. They ignore the argument that there is nothing wrong with raising a single child and that, in fact, an only child may have economic opportunities not always available to others and will more likely have close, nurturing, supportive relationships with their parents and friends.
Perhaps couples planning their childbearing future should also ask themselves an important question before embarking on the journey of parenthood: What's so awful about being an only child?
(Frank H. Boehm, MD is a professor of OB/GYN and Director of OB at Vanderbilt Medical Center in Nashville, TN. He can be reached at his web site http://dr-boehm.com. Dr. Boehm resides in Boca).